To Wipe Away Her Tears
by ilovettt
Summary: My thoughts on what should've happened in Red Badge, contains some spoilers! This actually took a long time to write, since I changed it about a million times, but I think it ended up quite nice. Hope you enjoy, please review ! Rating T/M


**To wipe away her tears**

Takes place during Red Badge (so, yes, it contains spoilers!)

So… Jane hypnotizes Lisbon, they fail in bringing back her memory, she breaks down, and asks him to leave.  
In the actual episode he does leave, this is my take on what could've (_should've_) happened.

**What if …**

"Jane -- I just need you to leave, ok? Could you -- please -- go?" Lisbon's voice broke as she shied away from Jane's hand on her shoulder, turning away from him with tearful eyes.

Jane looked at her fragile, slightly shaking figure, hoping there was some way he could take away her pain. He stepped toward her, cautiously, questioningly, not daring to touch her again. For once in his life Patrick Jane wasn't sure of what he was doing. Making up his mind he stated calmly, "No."

Lisbon turned her uncertain eyes to him. Not having enough energy to be angry with him like she usually would, she simply shrugged and asked in a tiny voice, "Why?" The truth was she didn't want him to go, and when she thought about it, he probably knew that. He always knew.

That was one of the things she both hated and loved about him most: he always knew what she was feeling and thinking, no matter how well she could conceal it from everyone else. He read her like an open book, and clearly today was no exception.

Jane reached out his hands and pulled her close to him, wrapping his strong, warm arms around her, pressing her tightly against his chest. She let herself lean into his strong chest, nuzzling her face against his soft shirt.

"Because I'm not going to leave you here alone, Teresa. Not like this," Jane's calm voice whispered into her hair as he stroked her back soothingly. She broke down, shuddering in his arms, the tears in her eyes starting to fall down her cheeks.

Her legs failed her, and Jane lifted her up in his arms. She rested her soaked cheek on his shoulder, and shut her eyes, unconsciously trailing her finger on the collar if his shirt as he made his way up the stairs to her bedroom.

He set her on the bed, pulled off her shoes and she curled up, shaking and crying like a little child. Jane looked at her, tears starting to form in his eyes. He would give anything, anything in the world to make it better. He caressed her wet cheek, wiping away each new tear that fell from her eye.

She quivered, each muscle in her body tense, gasping for air as she wept, clenching the edge of her pillow. "Sleep, beautiful. There's no rush, you have all the time in the world. Just sleep," he spoke soothingly, touching her hair and neck, trying to make her relax.

Lisbon opened her eyes, looking up at him pleadingly, "P-patrick. Could – could you please stay? Just – be here with me?" Tears still flooding down her face, she prayed to God he would say yes, and finished in a weak whisper, "Please."

For the first time in her life Teresa Lisbon felt like she couldn't make it on her own, and for the first time in her life she was ready to admit it. For the first time in her life she wanted – _needed_ someone to hold her as she cried. And she knew Patrick Jane was the first, and the only person she would ever let do that.

A tear escaped his eye, as he looked down at her in a complete loss for words. Of course he would stay, there was nothing he wouldn't do for her, didn't she know that? Didn't she know every moment of seeing her like this was killing him, didn't she know all he wanted was to take her pain and carry it for her so she wouldn't have to?

He sat down beside her still slightly trembling body, leaning his back against the wall at the head of her bed, and looked deep into her sparkling emerald eyes before pulling her softly up against himself.

"I'm not going anywhere, Teresa. I'm here for you for as long as you want me."

Lisbon rested her head in the hollow at the base of his neck, and sighed in relief, letting the tears run down her cheeks slowly. Closing her moist eyes she breathed in his sweet scent, losing herself in him as he stroked her silky hair tenderly, and hummed softly into her ear. As Jane held her in his arms, he felt her finally relax as she drifted away into a mellow state of slumber.

Jane closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of Lisbon's petite body against his, listening to the sound of her even, silent breaths. In that moment he began to realize just how much he cared for her, how much he wanted her to feel better, sheltered, whole. How much he – a slight shiver ran down his spine at the thought – loved her.

Beginning to feel tired, Jane glided down along the wall, holding Lisbon gently but firmly in his arms, until his head hit the fluffy pillow. Soon he, too, drifted into peaceful sleep, his arms still wrapped around her, keeping her safe from any harm that might come to her.

When morning came, Lisbon awoke to the feeling of the rising sun shining through her bedroom window warming her face. A small smile lighted her face, and she opened her eyes. Her gaze searched the room, and found what she was looking for: Patrick Jane stood beside the window, looking out with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Hey," Lisbon called in a low voice as she got up. Still wearing the clothes and smutty make-up from last night, she couldn't believe how well she'd slept.

"Good Morning, sunshine," Jane replied, turning around to face her with a gentle smile spread on his lips, "feeling better?"

Lisbon managed a small smile, and shrugged, "A little. Jane—" he took a few steps toward her, his eyes questioning. "Thank you. For, you know… Staying," Lisbon finished meekly, knowing there was so much more she wanted to say to him. Jane's smile widened as he closed the gap between them, taking her tenderly in his arms. "Anytime. And, after all, I was the one who insisted on not leaving at first, you know."

Lisbon looked up at him, taking in his beautiful face: his blue eyes gleaming with affection, his striking smile, his curving lips. She knew now was the worst moment ever to be thinking about this, but nothing made her feel safer and happier than being in his arms, knowing he would shelter her no matter what happened. She placed her hands at the back of his neck, got up on her tiptoes, pulled his head down gently, and brushed her lips to his.

"Teresa. I'm not sure this is the best time-"

"Patrick," Lisbon cut in, tears gathering threateningly in her eyes, "I know. But I just. I don't know. I - I need you." Jane wiped away the single tear that escaped her eye, and pulled her face back to his, kissing her lips delicately.

A muted sigh left her parted lips as he slowly caressed her tongue with his. Letting her fingers run slowly through his hair and down his back, she pressed her body against his, wanting to be closer to him.

"Wait, Teresa. I can't."

She froze in his arms, and a part of him regretted saying anything. But he couldn't use her like this. The vulnerable state she was in clearly messed with her thoughts, this was certainly not the way his Lisbon would usually behave. There was no way he was going to take advantage of that, no matter how much he wanted her or felt for her.

Jane caressed her cheek softly, and she looked up at him with a blank expression. She honestly didn't understand. She didn't want to think, to analyze the way he was acting. She simply wanted to feel his body against hers.

"I can't – _won't_ take advantage of you like this, Teresa. It's not that I don't want you, believe me, I do. It's just I don't want it to be like this. I hope you can understand that."

He brushed his lips lightly to hers once more before disappearing through the door, snapping it shut gently. Before she could register what had happened, she could hear his car starting and the sound of the engine slowly fading away, leaving her alone in the oppressive silence now settling in the suddenly empty apartment.

She looked around with a lost stare, not knowing what to think. Part of her was hurting like hell, but a part of her, possibly a slightly bigger part, was thankful. A tear trickled down her face, but she smiled nonetheless. He respected her and cared for her. That meant so much more than a one-night-stand out of pity ever would, and one day when they were both ready, she knew they could have so much more.


End file.
